Relationships, Marriage, & Family Life in Tuvalu
Dating in Tuvalu is generally done in secret and most contact between a couple is done through a third party. This in-between will contact both people and pass messages along as well as arrange for them to meet in private. Some couples take greater risks with the boy sneaking into the girl's house at night. Once a young man has decided he wants to marry he will ask his own parents for their permission. They may grant permission or may try to find him a different girl to marry, but today this is not as common as most families will grant permission. Once granted he will have to gain her parents' permission, which is sometimes done through a third party, such as an older man in the community who is well respected.
For the wedding itself the community as a whole may contribute (especially in the case of a potu lama, which is when the community helps young men find wives), but generally the two families organize the event and prepare a massive meal as well as gifts to the other family and to their children who are to wed. Most weddings in Tuvalu today are done in a church and after the ceremony a large meal is served and people dance well into the night.